Here's a 10-minute video of what I find to be true in addiction recovery, our dieting culture, churches, families, and even work.
Watch, comment, share. Everywhere. This is how I REALLY feel about it all.
Could you be addicted to diets? Is that even a thing?
1. I wake up every morning and examine myself in the mirror or weight myself. This pretty much determines how good I feel about myself for the rest of the day?
2. There are a number of foods that I consider to be "off limits" b/c I can't trust myself around them?
3. I try not to eat breakfast, or too much during the day to limit my calorie intake, but I often lose control at night and eat a lot before bed?
4. I often eat alone or I like eating alone?
5. I try to avoid certain social situations because of food that will be there?
6. I base how I feel about myself on my weight?
7. There is a weight that I feel is correct for me and one that I feel is incorrect?
8. I have days when I don't want to leave the house b/c I am so ashamed of how I look?
9. I try to control the amount that I am eating by measuring or using small plates or bowls?
10. Sometimes I eat when I'm not hungry?
11. Sometimes I don't eat when I am extremely hungry?
12. I feel guilty after I feel that I've eaten too much?
13. When I feel that I have had too much to eat I think that the day is ruined?
14. I only allow myself a certain amount of calories per day?
15. (Follow up question to 14) If I go over the amount of calories that I am allowed per day I have less calories the next day?
16. I save calories/hunger by not eating until I am hungry at dinner so that I can have something sweet later?
17. When I am unhappy with my weight my first instinct is to restrict what I have eaten?
18. I often don't eat until I am full?
19. I eat a lot of snack foods or snack throughout the day instead of eating regular meals?
20. I have been on a diet at one or more times in my life?
21. My weight fluctuates, often over 10 lbs or more?
22. I have created a very rigid eating plan for myself?
If you have answered yes to 5 or more of these question it is likely that you are affected by dieting or the "dieting mindset".
See yourself or someone you love in this list? Share this post and your thoughts in the comments below.
The trickiest thing in the world for most of us to do is get out of our heads and into our hearts. The second a dream dares to surface, our minds take over to keep us from rocking the boat of status quo. It is just doing it's job to keep us safe, small, and not threatened.
What if you really could eat anything you want without restriction?
What if you could feel anything you wanted to feel without having to justify it to anyone?
What if there was enough love, money and time to go around?
What if the things you have acquired in your pursuit of happiness are just things and happiness still eludes you?
What if the key to happiness lies within and you could easily access it any time you wanted?
That's how you live your dreams without drama. One moment - one heartbeat - one act of compassion at a time. It all begins with you.
I am quick to see (and judge) my perceived imperfections, and slow to accept love or affirm my amazing self. Sometimes it keeps me on the edge of overwhelm for things over which I have no control. Some days I feel like my head is out to get me.
Art Imitates Life
Did you know that an Apollo rocket going to the moon was only on course 2-3% of the time? For every half hour the ship is in flight, it is on course for less than sixty seconds.
Stay the Course
Don't get hung up in what Mike Dooley, author of Infinite Possibilities calls the "cursed Hows." Know where you intend to go. Prepare for the journey as best you can. Trust that you are fully equipped for whatever surprises come your way. And know that occasionally systems may fail and you will have to manually course correct.
That does not mean you are a failure. That is not an excuse to quit and go home. It means you are born for a moment like this. You will prevail. You will survive. You will thrive.
Trust it. Know it. Be it.
Bullying and bingeing are like children who are a bad influence on each other. They can always be found together when a woman is fighting her inner demons around food. But you can never tell which one is the instigator or who started the fight.
Every dieter wants to do it perfectly. It is common for a slip from the prescribed eating plan finds its way into a full blown binge. In fact, it's a biological imperative that food restriction causes the symptoms of disordered eating that drive women into treatment: obsession with food, diets, recipes; impulsive and intrusive thoughts, feelings and actions (just one won't hurt), and finally compulsive eating, binges, sneak eating. Next comes the familiar self-denigration, browbeating, and a solemn vow to never let that happen again. Until the next time.
It would be unrealistic to think our minds could perfectly turn off the voices of our ancestors and the culture we swim in. That perfectionism is no more useful in our eating with permission than it was in our eating with restriction.
Instead of fighting with your inner bully, why not use a teacher’s tactics of taking that voice aside where it can’t do any damage and finding out what’s going on for it? Fear, abuse, judgment. Then maybe you can reassure, comfort and re-employ the inner critic that wants you to drop this gentle eating BS and just go do an intermittent fast. That voice is not you. Your head is out to get you.
Donna Zajonc and David Emerald do amazing work in the field of Recovery from the DDT (Dreaded Drama Triangle). I have learned from them and am a certified practitioner in the Power of T.E.D.* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) as well. Today Donna posted an article today about Weapons of Mass Distraction that caught my attention.
How often do we use our devices as distraction to keep from feeling? Is there such a thing as addicted to technology? Do our brains crave the relief of dissociating from our bodies and engaging in drama outside of the mundane daily dreadmill?
Smart phones, I-pads, social media, gaming systems. Frequent notifications, reminders, calls, ads, news flashes and spam folders. Why do you think we resist setting boundaries around these sanity suckers?
I'd love to hear your comments below.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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