In any dialogue between two people, five things occur.
1. What person #1 said
2. What person #1 meant to say
3. What person #2 heard
4. What person #2 thinks person #1 meant
5. What person #2 said back to person #1
It's important to know yourself so you can speak your truth in any situation, instead of entertaining the "disease to please" and winding up frustrated or resentful, wouldn't you agree?
Here's today's short version of a solution.
4 simple steps to healthy communication:
Step 1 – if you’re having trouble with a person, that’s the person you should tell. Don't waste your emotional energy telling your version of victimization to people who you know will take your side.
Step 2 – use non-threatening, "I" language. "I feel disappointed when you aren't honest with me, and here's what I need from you."
Step 3 – practice active listening – make sure that what you hear is what the other person meant to say. “So what I’m hearing you say is…”
Step 4 – focus on the solution (what you want to see happen) instead of the problem (what you think someone did or didn't do, said or didn't say, or what you imagine they really meant by it.)
Practice that the next time and tell us how it went.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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