One theme that I see over and over in these daily Q&A's is that you wouldn't change one thing - even your most painful memories - because you truly have fallen in love with the woman you have become.
You have developed what some call Negative Capability.
That is the ability to sit with uncertainties, mysteries and doubts without chasing after facts and reason.
Sometimes, life just is. And it is perfect in the moment.
Letting go is not the same as giving up.
One is born of faith and an act of courage.
The other is derived from fear and cowardice.
I have shared this list with thousands of people over the years. Print it. Put in on your fridge. Memorize it. Live it.
To "let go" does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else
To "let go" is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another
To "let go" is to not enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences
To "let go" is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands
To "let go" is not to try to change or blame another, but to make the most of myself
To "let go" is not to 'care for', but to 'care about'
To "let go" is not to 'fix', but to be supportive
To "let go" is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being
To "let go" is to not be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their destinies
To "let go" is not to be protective, but to permit another to face reality
To "let go" is not to deny, but to accept
To "let go" is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them
To "let go" is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it
To "let go" is not to criticize and regulate anybody, but to try to become what I dream I can be
To "let go" is to not regret the past, but to grow and live for the future
To "let go" is to fear less and love more
I believe that God gives you the desires of your heart. Both the spark of desire, and the means to fulfill it. Troubled times simply help me sharpen my focus on what it is I truly want for myself, and for others.
A few years ago, I found myself in a position of power and responsibility working with people whose ethics were sometimes questionable. Every day was a challenge of integrity vs. expediency.
I am a woman who is driven to prayer only by angst. And I had plenty of it.
I realized that what I longed for most of all was the flexibility to wake up every morning with the freedom to do whatever I felt led to do. To sense and follow the voice of Spirit. I wanted to bring all of my talents, skills and abilities to life and have a schedule that would allow me to be of maximum service to God and the people around me.
I held that dream as I explored other work options. Every attempt I made at switching to another company failed. I explored the entrepreneurial road as a possible means of escape. It wasn't until my heart shifted from the idea of escape to the idea of ecstasy that change happened.
Today, I am living the life of my dreams. My schedule is flexible and my pay is predictable. For me, that is the best of both worlds.
What are your dreams, desires, and visions? What fuels them? What frustrates you? What do you wish you could do instead?
I have a better question. WHAT IF...
What if God was in charge of your schedule?
As a woman in leadership, you have probably encountered gender bias. Sometimes at home, sometimes at work, and sometimes in your own mind. I know I have.
We have tried to play by the rules. Rules that ran counter to our intuitive sense of self and better judgement. Rules that made us pretend we didn't see what we see, feel what we feel, know what we know. And if we did, we were afraid to say so.
Thanks to neurological research by Dr. Richard Haier, PhD, University of California, Irvine, questions of "who's smarter, men or women?" or "Who's stronger?" Even "Who's better suited to lead the class, the company, the nation?" can be put to rest.
So what do the groundbreaking, latest advances in neurological research reveal? It's simply a restatement of the obvious, and what we already knew. Are you ready for it? Here it is:
Men and women are different.
No shit, Sherlock.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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