The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it. - Tony Robbins
Your story is biologically rooted in humanity. It is the one thing we all have in common no matter where we were born, how we were raised, who we married, what our religious background, or what life handed us. We are quite naturally born into physical body and we all develop a story around why we are the way we are.
Human beings are hard-wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain. It’s our default programming. It came with the body. Beyond survival, our drive for pleasure brings us all the good things in life: love, family, achievement, rewards. The instincts for pleasure, love and acquisition are high on the list of what makes living so good.
It is also natural for us to seek an escape when life hands us unexpected losses or ongoing, unremitting pain. That escape begins with shock – a physical or psychic numbness designed to keep us stable until the danger passes or we can get help and heal. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross has identified five predictable stages humans must pass through to fully recover life’s pleasure again.
What happens with an addict, though, is that somewhere along the line the process stalls. There are plenty of theories out there about how or why that happens. When people work with me, we explore only those areas that prevent recovery, and we dig only as deep as we need to free you up to get back to fully embracing the joys of life.
Recovery at this level is for people who truly want it, not for people who need it. If you incorporate these 25 Ways to Win at Addiction Recovery into your life, you will love the life you are given.
I was certified last month by author, speaker and Adventurer Mike Dooley as a trainer in the art of living your dreams using principles from his New York Times bestseller, "Infinite Possibilities: The Art of Living Your Dreams."
Mike Dooley is a former PriceWaterhouseCoopers international tax consultant, turned entrepreneur, best known for his free Notes from the Universe emailings.
My travel schedule doesn't allow me to book recurring face-to-face sessions in any one location, so I have decided to do an introductory teleconference for select participants.
Watch for it in April...after tax season :-)
Thoughts become things. Choose the good ones.
An old axiom of AA is that you’re only as sick as your secrets.
Sometimes those secrets have been carried for generations, way before you got here. To air the family’s dirty laundry is akin to treason and could definitely get you booted out of the clan.
The inner workings of a dysfunctional family can be stilled into three small phrases.
Don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel.
“Don’t talk about what happens in this house, it’s none of anybody’s business.”
“Don’t trust anybody outside this family, nobody knows you like we do.”
“Don’t feel anything except what we allow you to feel.”
If there is an alcoholic in the home, they are the only ones allowed to express ALL of the emotions. Everyone else gets to walk on eggshells. Your recovery demands that you break these rules and establish new ones to live by.
What are the unwritten rules you grew up with?
At Recovery Today we specialize in dealing with the Elephant in the Room:
The secrecy and disruption that addiction brings into our lives. At home. And work. From the living room to the break room. Even the boardroom.
Our clients are highly functioning alcoholics and addicts—often successful in business and socially—but keeping a desperate, debilitating secret.
The good news is that Recovery today can help you—or someone you know—make life-transforming changes.
Think your challenge is too big? Expect commitment from us will help you whittle what feels impossible down to size. And success.
For more information on our services, or to schedule a consultation, contact us today at (509) 593-4989.
There are safe people and there are safe places. But to
find them, we must take a risk.
“Share, check, share”is a method that has worked for me.
First we share a small truth about ourselves, something with minimal impact, like, “Sometimes I feel angry when I think about what happened to me.”
Then we check their response. Are they shocked? Do they try to change the subject? Do they blame you for what happened or try to talk you out of your feelings? Are they condescending and disregard your concerns?
Do they say, “Oh, you’re making too much out of that.” Or, do they truly listen and appear ready to engage with an acknowledgement or question. “Tell me more, what happened?”
If they don’t respond to you differently than people from your past—then stop sharing and look for somebody else. If they respond differently, then you share a little more and you do another check for response.
Over time, the share, check, share model should get you to a place of trust with another person. Try it out and let us know how it goes.
If you would like a workbook to keep your notes in one place, along with questions you can answer no matter where you are, purchase the workbook modules. You can get them as you need them, module by module, or buy all 3 at a savings.
As many of you know, sugar is my drug-of-choice. Dieting is a close second. I can be as addicted to diets as I am to sweets. I know, I’ve seen me do it! I thought that when I lost weight my life would be perfect. I would be successful, my relationships would flourish, my mood would improve, yada yada yada.
In that state of denial, I spent most of my life in illusion. The illusion that someday I would wake up thin. Someday I would find the magic pill, diet, ingredient, prayer that would fix it once and for all. Someday I would wake up different. Those fantasy states were always fueled with a binge…and “someday” never came.
Yes, I lost weight. Repeatedly. And without my numbing agent (sugar), life hurt like hell. You have heard me say there are worse things than being fat and crazy; you could be thin and crazy instead! What does a person do when what they thought would solve their problem – whether it be a new body, a new man, a new treatment center, or a new job – doesn’t stick? They either go back to what they know works, or they find a new way to medicate.
Here’s a news flash. Relapse is not part of recovery. It is part of addiction. If you find yourself struggling with relapse, you are in the right place! We’re about to uncover what’s really going on with you and help you get past the illusions you have built for protection.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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