Not so fun fact: Most alcoholics began as under age drinkers.
Is that true? Is that true for you or someone you love?
Most of my clients wrestle with a common question:
Do I really want to quit for good?
When someone is arrested for DUI do they really want to quit drinking, or do they go to meetings to appease the court and avoid a sentence?
Does a compulsive shopper really want to pay off debt, or just enough to go shopping again?
Ask any chronic dieter and the answer is the same: " I want to eat whatever I want and not gain weight." Don't we all.
There are two components to any successful recovery: the body game and the brain game. The first and easiest thing to do is put down the drink/drug/bite/bet. The more challenging piece is leaving it alone when life throws you a curve.
Most bad habits have a mind-numbing quality about them. Something that takes you out of an uncomfortable feeling or memory and makes you feel better - even if only for a short time.
The goal of recovery is to put down your drug of choice long enough to master the brain game you play. If you're having trouble doing that on your own, call me at 509-593-4989 and let's see if I can help.
Do you know people who lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth? So do I. In fact, I have noticed it is sometimes easier for me to tell all the truth about someone else than it is to tell you one vulnerable truth about myself.
What to do?
Look at yourself first
As we move into the action stage of recovery, I want to emphasize that we are about to recover our powers to talk, trust, and feel around the things we’ve just uncovered in the first ten chapters
Telling the truth begins with us. We all know how to tell the truth. But mostly we tell the truth about others. Some people call that gossip. The super-religious call that prayer. I call that diversion.
I can tell the truth about you all day long and I can pinpoint exactly what the problem is with you, to just about anybody who will listen. That doesn’t help us. In fact, as we stir up relationships, that kind of talking about people (instead of to them) stirs up stress.
With that approach, things tend to get worse before they get better.
What matters is that we tell the truth about us. First to ourselves, and then to someone
else. I encourage you, as we begin, to keep the focus on you, not on what other people have or have not done.
Just for today notice how often you practice dishonesty by misleading others, denying the truth, or outright telling a fib. You might find out (as I did about myself years ago) that you're not as virtuous as the image you're trying to portray.
And the truth will set you free.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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