While standing in the lobby of a well-appointed suite, I met my Inner Gypsy (not to be confused with The Committee we talked about a couple of months ago.)
Today I got to entertain the notion of going back into a traditional role and life of Corporate America. You know, the M-F, 8-5 or so gig, home every night for dinner, watching TV with the hubby, and maybe even being able to get a social routine going.
I was talking myself into it - the 3 piece suit wardrobe, the traffic, the commute, the image, until my wiser-than-her-years daughter asked me how it felt.
In a word: suffocating. My Inner Gypsy loves to travel, and dance, and wear bright colors, and follow her muse. She wakes up excited every day to see what wonders God has waiting and how many lives we get to touch!
Get your tambourines ready...I feel the music starting!
Our recovery is only as good as our understanding of the problem.
If I think weight is the problem, then I look to diet and exercise as the solution. I pay mega-bucks to weight loss clinics, magic pill pushers, personal trainers, and diet gurus.
95% of people who lose weight, gain it back. With interest. Not very good odds.
If I think that emotions are the problem, then I go to counselors, shrinks, self-help groups, and psychics to fix it for me. I believe you can't heal what you can't feel, so I wallow. Not very productive.
If I believe the root of the thing is a spiritual hunger - trying to fill the empty spaces with something besides God - then I might show up in church three times a week and tithe twice as much as usual just for fire insurance. Surely the man upstairs will notice and fix this for me.
No matter what course we take to solve this problem, what underlies it all is stress. It is what fuels disease as well as addiction. Stress has been linked to heart disease, cancer, diabetes, depression, alcoholism, and yes - even obesity.
The key here is to make sure that the solution you decide to pursue doesn't compound the stress in your life. If you think you've tried it all, stay tuned.
As we recover, the world becomes a safer place. We learn to trust ourselves: our thoughts, feelings, instincts and decisions.
The foundation, though, rests on our beliefs. Is the world a safe place or a fearful one for you?
Does your spirituality include a 'Big-G' God who can handle all of your big questions and concerns or a 'little-g' god that you created in your mind to call upon and control?
Is there someone in your life that influenced your view of the Universe? In what way?
Is it true? Does it serve you today?
Life goes better with a God you can trust.
Now that dieting is a thing of the past, people ask me, "So what do you eat?". the honest answer is: "Anything I want."
One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. That's the diet cycle in a nutshell.
Deprivation and white knuckle abstinence followed by overindulgence and binge eating. New diet, new trainer, new wonder drug and we try harder next time. More deprivation followed by more binging. Weight loss, weight gain.
The definition of sanity for those addicted to food or diets, then, would be something like this: "We are neither fighting it nor are we avoiding temptation. For us, the problem has been removed."
I eat whatever I want. By facing my feelings and fears head-on, my appetite changed. Yours can too!
In the world of addiction, there are basically two players.
Addicts and Enablers
Enablers, also known as rescuers, codependents or caretakers, find their self-worth in helping the identified patient get better, get treatment, get a job, get a life.
Without someone to fix or a life to put into 'project status', what would the enabler do with themselves? Feel their own feelings, create their own happiness, live their own life?
Any time we do something for someone that they can or should be doing for themselves, we send a negative message. Underneath our seemingly good intentions runs a current of distrust.
"I don't think you can do that right. I better do it for you." What you really mean is: "I can't stand what will happen to me (or what people will think OF ME) if you do it wrong, so I better take the reins. Holding on too tightly can actually be a selfish act.
"Letting go" doesn't mean giving up in disgust, or throwing in the towel in despair. It is a loving act that respects the right of others to exercise their God-given powers of autonomy and self-direction.
Is there someone or some outcome you need to let go of today?
Dieting - like overeating - was a solution in my life at one time. Until it became a problem.
If it takes 21 days to break a habit, it takes twice that long for "The Committee" to believe you mean it and stop the incessant chattering.
Post-diet detox leaves me with a beautifully quiet mind.
I now live in a world where numbers on the scale carry no weight. No power over my mood or ability to regulate my self-esteem.
A world where steps are taken for pleasure and the pedometer is nowhere to be found.
I am loved. I am safe. I am forgiven.
I take inspired action rather than repeating desperate futile attempts to control.
Would you like to know more?
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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