I have often said "where the mind goes, the body follows."
But did you know that the mind follows the words it hears?
Words can literally change your brain, according to Newberg & Waldman, co-authors of "Words Can Change Your Brain: 12 Conversation Strategies to Build Trust, Resolve Conflict, and Increase Intimacy."
A positive view of yourself will bias you toward seeing the good in others, whereas a negative self-image will include you toward suspicion and doubt.
Maybe Mike Dooley of TUT.com is right after all. Thoughts become things in our life - choose the good ones!
I have often worked in male-dominated fields: law enforcement, healthcare, and even manufacturing. One of the ways I tried to fit in was to be one of the boys. I thought if I somehow disproved the theory that women are emotional, it would garner their respect.
Still it was a no-win. I was called 'dragon lady' or 'hitler in heels.' That hurt my feelings, and flew in the face of my carefully honed image.
It was inauthentic for me, and it was exhausting. Over time, I had trouble separating my work face from my home life. 'Kick ass and take names' isn't the preferred approach when trying to develop trust and intimacy with people you love.
Next time we can talk about how to know when to stay and when to go - at work, at home, or in love.
In the meantime, play the What-If-Game with us and get daily dream questions delivered to your email. Then you can join our private Facebook group for additional support.
It's SO worth it! (no charge)
I like to play the What If Game with clients, and decided to share it with you for fun and for free. All you have to do is put your email into the box here and you will get a new question from me every day of the week.
Delivered right to your inbox - no strings attached.
Here are a few questions to give you a taste. Imagine getting to play a little every day with like-minded women. Wouldn't that be amazing?
What if you could wave a magic wand and change one thing in your town. What would it be?
What if cotton candy was a staple food?
What if you could cross just one thing off your overcrowded "to-do" list?
What would it be, and why?
What if women could be trusted? (I know how to get you there...trust me!)
You can do this game alone in your mind, write it in your journal, share it with a trusted friend, or start a small group in your home to do the work and share the answers. You can tweet it, post it, link it, or pin it. There really is strength in numbers - especially when it comes to like-minded women!
Men conquer and women connect.
Neuroscience seems to have proven that women's brains are wired a little differently than men. If you have been anywhere on the Corporate Ladder, you already know that.
Women also worry more. Females visit the doctor more frequently and are diagnosed with depression more often. Look at the women you know - aren't they harder on themselves than anyone else would be?
Women who strive for success have one thing in common: We want it all, we want it now, and we want it done perfectly. Our energy and attention are divided (not so equally) between work demands, family needs, and just general people pleasing.
Oftentimes, the solutions offered only compound the problem.
Not enough time? Go to a seminar on time management.
Not enough love? Go to the gym so you can be more attractive.
Not enough money? Consider a second job - one you can do from home.
Where does it get you? Overworked, under appreciated, and exhausted.
And the #1 thing that keeps you up at night is usually about lack of connection.
You just want everyone to be happy. And you think it's your job to make it happen. You can give so much away that you may lose sight of your own dreams, desires and visions.
What's keeping you up at night? Share here.
I crack myself up. You'll never guess what I did (or didn't do) this month.
I didn't order art supplies for the class I am now half-way through.
I shopped for them.
I whined about not knowing what I was doing.
I blogged about the risk of creativity.
I worried that my supplies hadn't arrived.
I checked my email for order confirmation - and - nothing!
I checked every plastic card I own for a charge to the art supply places I might have used. Nada.
So I have done all of the homework in Brene Brown's online class - except for the part that challenged me the most...playing with paint.
Here's a handy little Self-Compassion Scale developed by Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher and professor at the University of Texas at Austin that helped me extend some compassion for this faux pas. Hope you enjoy it, too!
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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