This is the last day of the year and the question is "How have you changed?" Oh my - let me count the ways.
I got involved in a Facebook group from the Daily Om using the book "A Year to Clear What Has Been Holding You Back" by Stephanie Bennet Vogt.
I cleared far more than clutter. I dumped limiting beliefs, an abundance of excess belongings, and heavy emotions that were weighing me down.
Then I sat in the empty space considering the hole in the donut. I did things like make my bed every day, carefully considered any new purchases (and there weren't many that passed the 'do I love it' test), and waited for a sense of direction.
Soon I began noticing all the relational clutter around me...blended families are ripe with that stuff and mine was no exception. So I watched emotional 'weather patterns' and detached from the drama as I began to set boundaries for maybe the first time in my 10-year marriage. Voila - the missing piece to my life puzzle appeared!
I had to face the fact that my man doesn't honor boundaries. And that love loses meaning when it's used as a slogan to maintain the status quo. This year-long course gave me the elements of trusting myself and taking baby steps, so I baby-stepped my way on out the door. No big dramatic bang - just one step back after another as we untangled the finances and family ties.
How have I changed? Consciously. Carefully. Considerately.
I highly recommend it.
This is the time people ramp up for their New Year's resolutions. Right on the heels of feeling guilt and shame over how excessive they have been during the holidays.
Every time you do that, start another diet and fail, you set yourself up for the very thing that drives you the most crazy. It's called dieting backlash.
Here is a little checklist to decide whether you're going to have another round of failed diets with its weight-loss/weight gain cycle, or if 2017 is the year you make a new choice to listen to your gut and make a lasting difference for yourself.
1. The thought of going on a diet brings on urges and cravings usually for "sinful" or "fatty" foods such as ice cream, chocolate or cookies.
2. When a diet ends, you go on a huge binge accompanied by feeling guilty.
3. You have little or no trust in self with food.
4. You don't feel you deserve to eat because of your weight.
5. You have S hortened tolerance for dieting duration.
6. You engage in "Last Supper" eating (which is bingeing because you fear you'll never have a particular food(s) again.)
7. You withdraw socially (no parties, dinners out, or choosing to "save up" calories for party.)
8. Sluggish metabolism.
9. Using caffeine to survive the day.
10. Eating disorders (anorexia, BED, bulimia, compulsive overeating).
That list makes me feel sad just reading it. It has been my life for too long and finally I have found a way out. Please join us on social media at #dreamsnotdrama. You're not alone.
Just a visual stroll down memory lane today... Important books on the right have laid the foundation for a life of service, and ones on the left push me to new horizons.
A myriad of web pages along the bottom are my version of leaving a bread-trail on the path so others may follow.
Nothing in life is wasted if instead of "Why me?" you ask "What can I learn from this?"
Once upon a time I believed everything I heard about weight loss. And I tried most of it. I had a self-help library from hell - cook books, diet plans, exercise programs, hypnosis tapes. Then the anti-diet contingencies - calories don't count, diets don't work, sugar is a drug, fat is fattening, you are what you eat, clean eating, and detox diets.
When focusing on the outside didn't work, I tried pscho-social-spiritual approaches to solve my obsessive compulsive love/hate relationship with food. 12-step programs, support groups, celebrate recovery.
I gained, lost and regained the same 20 pounds for over 20 years. Then I found Intuitive Eating. The first step is to change your mind. Change what you say to yourself, about yourself, and what you allow others to plant in your mind.
Listen to your heart and your body (not your head). It is the path to wisdom and to freedom at last.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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