The holidays are rapidly approaching and there's no time to waste.
Here's the short version of Section 3 of my book, "25 Ways to Win: The Pocket Guide to Addiction Recovery."
1. Have a Daily Plan
2. Get a Buddy or Two
3. Dare to Dream
4. Embrace Grace
5. Become a Safe Person
If you have trouble doing these things, call me to see if I can help you get focused on living your dreams without drama.
If you haven't already done it, buy the book to help you stay safe and sane during this holiday season. Keep it for yourself, use is as a discussion tool for couples, or give it away to friends as a Pre-Holiday gift before addiction takes all the fun out of yet another holiday.
I want to thank all of you who have purchased the book, came to hear me speak, or shared it with friends and family. I hope it has brought hope and healing to your lives.
I have completed the quasi-study on this blog and it will remain so that anyone who picks up the book and wants to go it alone can come here anonymously and dig a little deeper with us.
I am available for interviews, speaking engagements, workshops and retreats. Call 509-593-4989 for details.
First, let me say that I unabashedly love the 12-step program of recovery as outlined in the first 103 pages of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous."
The trouble with 12-step today is that most people who go to meetings don't follow the program as it was originally written. In fact, many rely on the strength of slogans and social meetings to keep them sober, or to excuse slips and relapses.
By a show of hands, you will see that most of them have never even read the book they carry to meetings each week.
In fact, there is a parallel between that behavior and what occurs in many churches. Show up once a week, book in hand, look like you're living the life, then do whatever you want the rest of the time.
Do you know anybody like that? We're going to talk about it here, and start a series called:
Big Book: Back to Basics.
As we recover, the world becomes a safer place. We learn to trust ourselves: our thoughts, feelings, instincts and decisions.
The foundation, though, rests on our beliefs. Is the world a safe place or a fearful one for you?
Does your spirituality include a 'Big-G' God who can handle all of your big questions and concerns or a 'little-g' god that you created in your mind to call upon and control?
Is there someone in your life that influenced your view of the Universe? In what way?
Is it true? Does it serve you today?
Life goes better with a God you can trust.
In the world of addiction, there are basically two players.
Addicts and Enablers
Enablers, also known as rescuers, codependents or caretakers, find their self-worth in helping the identified patient get better, get treatment, get a job, get a life.
Without someone to fix or a life to put into 'project status', what would the enabler do with themselves? Feel their own feelings, create their own happiness, live their own life?
Any time we do something for someone that they can or should be doing for themselves, we send a negative message. Underneath our seemingly good intentions runs a current of distrust.
"I don't think you can do that right. I better do it for you." What you really mean is: "I can't stand what will happen to me (or what people will think OF ME) if you do it wrong, so I better take the reins. Holding on too tightly can actually be a selfish act.
"Letting go" doesn't mean giving up in disgust, or throwing in the towel in despair. It is a loving act that respects the right of others to exercise their God-given powers of autonomy and self-direction.
Is there someone or some outcome you need to let go of today?
Kim Halsey is a woman with more questions than answers. She is not a brand, a label, easily understood or readily ignored.
As a realistic optimist, Kim believes that we are bigger than whatever life can throw at us and better equipped than we know.
Her heart's desire is to create a safe place, be a safe person, and leave a path for others to follow.
Are you ready to stop dieting and start living?
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