There are safe people and there are safe places. But to
find them, we must take a risk.
“Share, check, share”is a method that has worked for me.
First we share a small truth about ourselves, something with minimal impact, like, “Sometimes I feel angry when I think about what happened to me.”
Then we check their response. Are they shocked? Do they try to change the subject? Do they blame you for what happened or try to talk you out of your feelings? Are they condescending and disregard your concerns?
Do they say, “Oh, you’re making too much out of that.” Or, do they truly listen and appear ready to engage with an acknowledgement or question. “Tell me more, what happened?”
If they don’t respond to you differently than people from your past—then stop sharing and look for somebody else. If they respond differently, then you share a little more and you do another check for response.
Over time, the share, check, share model should get you to a place of trust with another person. Try it out and let us know how it goes.
If you would like a workbook to keep your notes in one place, along with questions you can answer no matter where you are, purchase the workbook modules. You can get them as you need them, module by module, or buy all 3 at a savings.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.