Have you been duped by a narcissist? I know I was. I have been able to simplify the likely diagnosis into into one quick question: Is it all hearts and flowers until you hold a boundary or say "no" to another person? Is that when you see the Dr. Jekyll Mr Hyde personality change that is reserved for your private moments?
When you stop sacrificing who you are for the sake of their comfort, the narcissistic personality will begin a systematic devaluation to undermine your self confidence. If you resist the gaslighting and don't fall back into line, they will take it to those closest to you with or without your knowledge. Sometimes it may occur weeks, months or years before you are even aware it has happened.
There are plenty of videos, counseling tips and tricks on the internet about surviving narcissistic abuse. Here is my short and sweet cure:
1. Don't allow yourself to move out of integrity to please a narcissistic version of what reality should be. They are driven by self-interest even though it may look generous and engaging to the outside world. Their reality is not your reality. Let that be enough.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
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