A common phrase heard in 12-step meetings around the world is “Take what you need and leave the rest.”
Too many times, newcomers take what feels good or doesn’t seem too difficult, and leave the healing behind.
What do you need?
Deep down, I bet you already know that you need to stop or moderate. You probably even have some idea of what would work for you (since you’ve tried so many times to quit before.) The only thing we know for sure about breaking bad habits is you can’t do it alone.
Hope. Guidance. Direction. Simplicity.
There is no shame in admitting you had a problem or in seeking a solution. AA has no corner on God (they freely admit that in the book), they merely have a way that worked for them. In fact, they should encourage you to find recovery another way if you choose to. An open hand indicates healthy recovery.
You need the book as it was written, not the steps as interpreted through the years.
You need to get through the steps in days or weeks, not months or years.
You need a personal action plan and accountability, not directives you can’t live up to from a sponsor.
You need a trusted friend, counselor, or coach who offers the protection of a sounding board as you begin to change the way you think about life, react to your surroundings, and navigate troubled waters.
If you don't have someone you can trust, or aren't satisfied with the pace of play, schedule a brief session here. Once the foundation is laid, repetition is your friend.
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.