In the world of addiction, there are basically two players.
Addicts and Enablers
Enablers, also known as rescuers, codependents or caretakers, find their self-worth in helping the identified patient get better, get treatment, get a job, get a life.
Without someone to fix or a life to put into 'project status', what would the enabler do with themselves? Feel their own feelings, create their own happiness, live their own life?
Any time we do something for someone that they can or should be doing for themselves, we send a negative message. Underneath our seemingly good intentions runs a current of distrust.
"I don't think you can do that right. I better do it for you." What you really mean is: "I can't stand what will happen to me (or what people will think OF ME) if you do it wrong, so I better take the reins. Holding on too tightly can actually be a selfish act.
"Letting go" doesn't mean giving up in disgust, or throwing in the towel in despair. It is a loving act that respects the right of others to exercise their God-given powers of autonomy and self-direction.
Is there someone or some outcome you need to let go of today?
Kim Halsey is a human resource professional and executive coach who helps people overcome life damaging habits, restore important relationships, and live their dreams without drama.
Like Us, Link Us, Share Us