Interview with Kim Halsey, MA, SPHR
What brought you into this field?
I was exposed to 12-step recovery for an eating disorder many years ago. I followed the rules, took all the steps, made it to the meetings, lost the weight, and felt like a fake. I looked good on the outside, but inside I was dying.
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake that feeling of not fitting in, not being good enough. When I stopped using food to make me feel better, I'd want more of everything else. More sex. More love. More excitement. More stuff. I soon found I wasn't alone.
There is such a thing as switching addictions. I know people who use smoking to curb their appetite. Alcoholic women stop drinking and start eating. Post-surgery, gastric bypass patients turn to alcohol to medicate emotions they can no longer numb with food. The human condition is that we are hard-wired to seek pleasure and avoid pain.
After a year of white-knuckled abstinence and fighting urges to indulge, I realized there were worse things than being fat and crazy. You could be thin and crazy instead!
So I did what most addicts do in that situation, I went back to the only thing that I knew from experience would make the pain go away. I relapsed. It was then I experienced a serendipitous meeting with a woman who changed my life.
What is the difference between 12-step meetings and your approach?
At the end of my rope, I was introduced to a recovered alcoholic who would be my mentor through the 12-step program of recovery. She taught me page by page, line by line, what the original authors of the book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" meant when they wrote the book. I put those elements into practice and had the coveted Spiritual Experience promised as a result of working the steps.
The slogans heard in 12-step meeting rooms are based in the principles of the original recovery program. However, most people today haven't read the book or have lost touch with the intent of the original authors, who claimed you could be recovered, healed, and cured.
How is your approach different than therapy?
I heard once that a relapsing alcoholic is an untreated codependent. After figuring out what a 'codependent' was (dependent on the person who is dependent on an event, substance, or thing), then I started an intense 2 year program to conquer those characteristics. I paid particular attention to what precedes a relapse:
* relational problems
* financial trouble
* work frustrations
* social pressure
* even boredom and apathy
Whatever the circumstance, feelings came up uninvited every day. Without my drug of choice, I had no idea how to handle them. So I went for therapy to dig out the root cause of my angst. There, we conquered the big "why" questions:
* Why did I put dependence on people ahead of dependence on God?
* Why couldn’t I stop when I wanted to?
* Why did people treat me like they did?
* Why did God allow it?
* Why wasn't He there when I really needed Him?
The deeper we dug, the hungrier I became. Why? Because focusing on the problem only made it bigger. And I was already on life overload. I needed to focus on a real solution, not just another rabbit trail.
I discovered that "why" isn't nearly as important as "what next."
Along the way I discovered my passion and purpose in life to bridge the gap between addicts of all types and a God they can trust. I have worked with thousands of recovering addicts over the years, gently guiding each one through not just 12-step recovery, but elements of relational healing, behavior modification, and spiritual significance.
I published a quick read book "25 Ways to Win: The Pocket Guide to Addiction Recovery" as a self-study guide to carry this message to more people than I could possibly find time to work with individually.
Who are your clients exactly?
My clients are intelligent, articulate, often professional men and women who are baffled by their inability to control a habit they have acknowledged is damaging their health, their career, or their relationships. They are leaders in life who are very busy and excel at what they do. My clients trust me for my expertise and expect that my counsel and services will reflect the highest standards. They fully understand the value of partnering with a compassionate coach and what that relationship can bring to their personal and professional growth.
The road to recovery can be confusing. In fact, the more hands in the pie of addiction treatment and recovery, the more difficult it becomes for you to know which path is right for you.
What type of personality do you work best with & what is expected of me?
I only work privately with a small number of clients at any one time to ensure a high level of personal service. It is important to make sure we will be a good 'fit' for each other. As a person in recovery who has tried most of the "cures" out there for myself, I understand how frustrating it can be to feel like a chronic failure.
I'm continually in the market, finding the latest research, and sharing what works. That's why my clients trust me for my expertise. I also love to brainstorm, have fun, and laugh. We have a great time together while achieving fabulous results!
Something else that's very important to know about me is that I believe communication is critical to the success of our relationship. It's imperative that you be willing to take the time to communicate with me by phone, email, video chat or in person for our relationship to be successful. Communication is a must!
What type of person is this NOT going to work for?
This is not going to work for someone who is pressured or guilted into it. If the courts, the church, the spouse or the boss says "You must, or else!" and that person resents the interference, they would not do well here. The desire to heal must come from within.
We've all been in times of personal crisis at one point or another. Do yourself a favor and just hang out. Visit our Articles page in the meantime. It is free and easy. This will really help you get primed for our work. When you're ready, call me at (509) 593-1686 and we'll get you started. (I'm in no rush and will be here when you need me.)
Another type of person I won't work with (without exception) is the whiner or the chronic skeptic, as well as individuals who consistently make excuses for not getting their assignments done. If you are one of these people, I would ask that you not call and I hope you understand why. We'll probably just not work well together and I wouldn't want you to waste your time or money. Is that fair?
What can you do for us that others can't?
Training, experience and insight allow me to bring a laser focus to the root issues causing your problem and help heal your life, not just your addiction. Here, your journey is absolutely confidential. The work you do with me is not subject to insurance approval, employer reporting, or public exposure.
In working with clients, I am not limited to one approach to your recovery. I bring multiple disciplines to bear on the goals most important to you. I am not a clinician and will not diagnose or treat any mental, psychological, or physical ailments that may present themselves during the course of working together. I always support my clients in seeking appropriate counsel or treatment as needed.
Finally, I am not affiliated with - nor do I endorse - any religious doctrine or treatment modality. I will not attempt to fix, change, convince, convert, or even heal you. I will, however, help you find a spiritual solution that works for you..
What results can I expect?
As a result of creating a working relationship with me, you can expect a number of things to happen:
- Love Your Life: You will feel enormous relief and immediately be able to move forward because you've given up your secret life.
- Find freedom to pursue those things that matter and not be distracted by addiction.
- Love Yourself: You will make far better decisions as you regain time and space to be certain about what you truly want.
- Practical skills for navigating troubled waters at work, in relationships, and in life.
- Gain Energy and Momentum: You will be more energetic and focused on things you love and let go of what drains your energy and spirit.
And that's just the tip of the iceberg! There is some truth to the saying, "Do what you love, and the money will follow." What you're regularly getting with me is a series of "Aha" moments! Your recovery will move twice as fast in half the time it would take on your own or in a leaderless support group.
How quickly can I expect results?
If you are someone who is truly willing to "jump in" with both feet, you can expect to see results almost immediately. That means you need to really trust me to have your best interest at heart. Trust can take time, I know -- as we work together, you'll realize the value of our partnership and it will happen. So, truly, the answer to this question lies with you.
How can I guarantee myself that I will get better this time?
Do all of your assignments and keep our appointments together. Put your recovery on 'project status.' Be committed to do whatever it takes. Understand that it's not a quick fix, it's not magic and it can take up to a year for you to plant all the seeds and for those seeds to grow into the fruit that you can enjoy. All my clients who have diligently applied these principals have created a life that works for them, in a fraction of the time and cost.
Get the life of your dreams no matter how many times you have tried (and failed) before
Together, we will make recovery a priority, take stock of where you currently are, identify what worked or didn't work for you in the past, what's blocking you from wholeness now, and fully implement your personalized action plan. More freedom, more happiness, more success, not just more "information."
Do you accept credit cards?
Yes, for your convenience, I do accept credit cards. I accept Paypal, Visa, MasterCard, Discover, and American Express.
Kim, I know you're the person I want to work with. How do we get started?
Congratulations on making a life-changing decision! I'm happy to work with you to achieve lasting recovery from your addictions, dependencies, and self-defeating behaviors!
The next step is to schedule a get-acquainted session. We will discuss your goals and look at your challenges. We'll talk about some of the things standing in your way, and discuss where my support can be used to help you reach your goals. This also allows us to discover whether we'd be a good fit for each other in terms of personality and work style. When the right connection is made, magic can happen!
Just call or email me at kim@recoverytoday.org or to schedule a brief visit at http://dreamsnotdrama.appointy.com
